So its the last evening i’ll spend with mum and dad
And we went to the pub
And now mums asleep
And dads going to bed
And I’m a little drunk
And nervous
And
It’s been 5 months since I’ve been out the country
Lawd
engaged or married or having kids or moving in together or going travelling together
And today my dad told me to ‘just find some rich 90year old and your life will be sorted’
Sound and solid advice
Book stores make me realise how often I rush through buying things and how I feel a certain level of anxiety when it comes to shopping and being watched by the people who work in there. However in a book store, time stops and its just you and the stories of the authors, stories written by people you’ll never meet but that you get a little insight into how their minds work by the way they write, how they describe things and how the characters interact. Choosing a book you’ll fall in love with takes time, finding the next story you want to get lost in takes time…
Book shops make me stop and realise it’s okay to take your time.
Outgoing people with anxious minds – or minds that overthink – tend to feel anxiety the most intensely, often because we don’t talk about it. And by “often” I mean never.
Our anxiety is a contrast to our big, bold personalities. Strangers would never guess it. We never know when to fight or flight, and our self-angst is maxed out. We are often the life of the party but can also be mind-numbingly introspective, questioning everything.
1.Our day normally goes something like this: Anxiety: Okay but what if – Me: Homie we went over this a thousand times and we totally resolved it. Anxiety: Yeah but I’ve looked at it from a new angle and there are like 15 more reasons why you should worry about it. Me: ……go on.
2.We’re kind of a conundrum because we love people and need to be surrounded by people to be happy, but our over-thinking and our apprehension to immediately trust someone is, in fact, what makes us very selective about who we surround ourselves with.
3.That might mean we’ll have lots of friends or acquaintances but veryfew close friends who we share our world with. But when we do, they become our entire life.
4.We still find it easy to talk and connect with people – we can be charming creatures and when we do choose to grace a party with our presence, we are the life of it.
5.But then we wake up in the morning and of course, we are over-thinking everything – Ahhh what did I say to that one person thatrather die than act like an idiot in front of? Did I talk too much? And what did they mean by “I’ll see you soon?” What does “soon” even mean? Like soon soon? Or “soon”?
6.Although we are very bold and outgoing, sometimes even the smallest things can stress us out and override our nerves. Whether it’s picking up our dry cleaning, finishing a project for work or making a call to our doctor, just the thought of having to deal with it makes our minds race.
7.Dating is hard, we have to explain that we’re not insecure control freaks, we just think. A lot.
8.I mean you don’t have to call us back right away when you’re out, but just know that our mind is playing out a bunch of horrible scenarios in which you’ve cheated. Or died. That’s right, if we reach your voicemail, we can’t help but consider that you might not be alive.
9.Even the smallest gestures make us melt. We tend to be overwhelmed very easily, so anything you do to make our life easier is greatly appreciated. Picking us up for a date, playing with our hair when we’re watching a movie, calling to see how we’re feeling or making us a cup of tea comes with the highest of thanks. We will never take your gestures for granted.
10.We’re hardest on ourselves, we are always gripped by the feeling that there’s more that we should be, or could be, doing in our life.
11.We try to trick our brain by doing as many things as we can during the day so we can fall asleep at night – HAHA what were we thinking? This is our brain’s prime time to annoy us; it won’t miss this opportunity.
12.We ebb and flow between wanting to be surrounded by many people,reveling in the attention we receive, to being very selective and sort of wanting to isolate ourselves to recharge and be left alone with our thoughts. Needless to say, we’re enigmas wrapped in bacon.
SOURCE: http://viralfactsfactory.com/12-struggles-of-having-an-outgoing-personality-but-an-anxious-mind/
Me and Oli broke up about a week ago, which is faire enough, but it was all handled in such a shit way i’m more annoyed than anything.
I have finally, i think, let go of everything that happened between me and Will, i don’t resent him, I’m not sad…. it’s kind of nice.
In 2 weeks time I will be all packed up and ready to fly 23 hours across the planet to work for another 5 months on ship… and I’m feeling positive! I’m excited, if nervous (which is fair enough i believe), with even my dreams of ship life being positive experiences… my subconscious is happy with my decision, which makes me happy.
I am like 2% away from finishing the TEFL i’ve been doing over summer, I just need to get the guts to hand the final piece in.
I’ve realised I am happy alone, but I also realised one day I do want to adopt a little girl… she doesn’t have to be my own flesh and blood for me to love her with all my heart, is what I have recently decided.
I am thankful for my low-maintenance friends who are there when i need them or when they need me or when we just want a laugh.
And to anyone who bothers to read this, you are beautiful and I hope you’re having a great day.
1. We have an awesome secret part of the boat all to ourselves
Sure, we sleep in closet-sized rooms waaaaay below deck, but we spend most of our time enjoying the blissfully uncrowded, crew-only amenities. We’re talking private sun decks, hot tubs, gyms, bars, and dining rooms.
2. We throw insane parties while you’re asleep
Seriously, it’s like that scene in Titanic, but without the Irish fiddles and weird table dancing. Working on a ship is pretty much like being in college – we work hard, we play hard, and we throw crazy parties that go well into the night.
3. We’re constantly hooking up with each other
Literally, everyone is doing it, and all of the time. The ship is like an international buffet of bodies, and no one is leaving hungry. On top of that, we guarantee at least one passenger-crew affair on every single cruise. Or your money back. Gopher would be proud.
4. We don’t get a day off… for eight months!
You read correctly: Zero. Zilch. We work seven days a week for the duration of our contract, which is typically eight-months long. That’s right, eight straight months without a day off. Bet you didn’t get that from watching the Love Boat. Instead, we have random breaks scattered throughout our day.
5. The hours can be crazy
Because we’re on duty whenever the ship calls, it isn’t unheard of to work 100 hours a week for 15 weeks straight.
6. But… it’s a great way to bank mad cash
While this totally depends on what job you’re doing, some crew positions can make a lot of money. Not only that, but we often make a salary similar to what you’d make on shore, and we don’t pay for food. Or rent. Or utilities. That’s right, we pretty much have ZERO expenses.
7. We don’t eat the same food as guests
A lot of people think that crew members eat the same food as the passengers, but we have separate dining rooms with less glamorous cuisine.
8. The UN’s got nothing on us
If you’ve ever dreamed of living, working, and partying with people from all over the world, well, welcome aboard. Some crews have over 60 different nationalities represented, and learning about different cultures is one of the best parts of working on a cruise ship. Also, we mentioned that we’re all hooking up, right?
9. The ship’s crew is segregated by rank
There are three kinds of cruise ship workers: officers; staff members (like dancers, musicians, black jack dealers, the gift shop cashier); and general crew (bartenders, wait staff, and cabin stewards). Each group is afforded different privileges. For example, officers are free to see shows, mingle with passengers, and explore ports, while ranked crew aren’t allowed to disembark, or even enter any non-crew areas unless they’re on the clock.
10. We are insanely efficient
No restaurant on shore can do what we do. Not even close. Because we seat everyone at the same time, dining rooms basically go from empty to 900 people in 15 minutes flat. And since every ship has two dining rooms, and each has two serving times, we basically feed 3,500 passengers in less than five hours.
11. And can turn around a 4,000-passenger ship in mere hours
Ditto for turning around the ship between cruises. Sometimes, we have as few as three hours in port to unload thousands of passengers, clean the boat, switch crews, and welcome aboard an entire new group of folks.
I would say most of the above is true…. Though maybe not so much number 3 - there is opportunity to hook up with anyone and everyone, but its up to your personal morals as to how often you take up those opportunities. And affairs with guests are strictly forbidden and are punishable offences so that point is a load of crap. BUT the rest is very much a true depiction of life on ship.
I RECENTLY TURNED 30. For some very odd reason I’ve not warmed to the idea of it just yet. However as I began to evaluate my 20s I realised how many mistakes I’ve made and things I’ve learned in a decade of life.
I took some time to write myself some advice.
1. Travel
You have very little responsibility so go and travel. When you get to 30, you’re going to want to travel slightly differently, spend a little more, do slightly more expensive things, eat at slightly better restaurants. So work for a year and save enough money to experience the world on the cheap.
How do you know what you want to do if you don’t know what’s out there to do?
Don’t just travel to the obvious places.
Travel to the tough places.
Travel to learn.
Travel to discover.
Travel to the places that will challenge who you think you want to be.
2. Build things
Don’t spend too much time working on other people’s visions or in other people’s meetings. Spend time figuring out what your own world view is (see point 1) and where you want to take your own life.
Meetings are where ideas go to die.
If you find yourself in a corporate job that you wish you could leave then do it. Leave. If you don’t have a corporate job yet see point 5.
3. Read
Read every day. Read everything you can. Don’t just read about things you know about. Read about people. Read people.
4. Stop watching television
Right now. Stop it. It’s not helping you get better at anything.
5. Career
Do not take that corporate job. Just don’t do it (see point 2).
6. Trust
Even if it kills your relationships. Even if it destroys your ideas. Even if you lose your friends. Even if it means you end up getting hurt.
Trust people until they give you a reason not to.
But don’t be naïve. Some people are out to fuck you.
7. People
People are the best and worst thing that will happen to you. Some will help you go further, faster. Others will pull you down to their level and help you lose. Most are OK. Many are average. Some are excellent.
A few people will change your life forever. Find them.
You don’t need a lot of friends or people around you. You need amazing people who do for you as you do for them.
It’s simple really, a lot of average friends will leave you feeling alone when you need to feel surrounded by people who care.
8. Value time
Don’t waste time on people who you don’t trust. Don’t waste time with lovers who cheat on you. Don’t waste time with friends who don’t treat you the way you treat them (see point 7).
Do not be late.
Value other people’s time. That means that if you’re late, you don’t give a shit about them or their time and that you think you’re worth more and therefore can keep them waiting.
Some people will tell you that it’s OK to be late. It’s not. Some people will tell you that it’s just the way they are. Then you need to reevaluate them (see point 7 above).
9. Fail
Fail a lot. Fail often. Fail at love. Fail at sex. Fail at socialising. Fail at making friends. Fail at work. Fail at business. Fail with family. Fail with existing friends.
Fail. But do it quickly and learn a lesson.
If you don’t learn something every time you fail then all you’ve done is failed. If you learn something, then you’ve grown. Every time you grow and learn and fail, you get better at figuring out how the hell to succeed.
10. Success
There is no point at which you will have succeeded. Not in your twenties. Not ever.
Get over that fact and start building things (see point 2 and combine with point 9).
11. Patience
Be patient. Nothing worth doing is worth doing quickly. Nothing worth building is worth building in a rush. Nothing of value is formed in a minute.
Plan in decades. Think in years. Work in months. Live in days.
Source: http://matadornetwork.com/notebook/advice-30-year-old-20-year-old/
